Fairies are so awesome. They can fly…I can’t. They have magically powers…okay I have a couple but they are lame. They crap magic dust…which is kind of gross but it looks like glitter and who doesn’t like glitter. Well, Mariah Carey might not like glitter since that awful movie torpedoed her acting career and made her want to marry a child. But I digress, Fairies are fun and cool and I wish I could be one.
I know all those tough guys are like, really dude…you want to be a fairy. Insert snicker here….and over here. I’ve learned on the Fjord that being a tough guy just means you are insecure and questioning how tough you really are. Oh and Fairies ROCK snickerdoodle!
I just do not know how to become a fairy and that Peter Pan dude is like flying all over the place being annoying mostly. He gets mad at me when I call him an elf. I do it to get his attention but seriously that guy was ground zero for ADHD. Seriously yo!
So now that I’ve gotten completely off point and I blame Peter Pan for that but the bottom is I want to be a Fairy because they rock!
p.s. Being Santa Claus wouldn’t suck either. I wonder how I’d look in a Santa hat?
p.s.s. I also promise IF I do become a Fairy I will not drink and fly…I’ll just continue to drink and cab.